Forgiveness…Really!
Forgiveness is the most talked about subject around in the religious arena. It is also highly spoken of in many counseling offices. Why is the word thrown around so much? What special power does this word have? Believe it or not, forgiveness has nothing to do with the person you are forgiving. It has everything to do with the process it takes within you.
When we hear “forgive others”, we try our hardest to make it about the act, intent, and the meaning behind why we shouldn’t forgive. This process is solely based in the ego. The ego is the protectant that we have built to keep us safe. Most of us believe if we hold on to the offense, we won’t justify the wrongful act committed against us. Well, what if the act had nothing to do with us but more on how the offender felt about self? Would that allow you the freedom to forgive? Many people believe no. You see, in order to forgive, you have to take the focus off you and place it where it rightfully belong…on the other person.
Acts are committed against people for many reasons, none have to do with you. We deflect the feelings that we feel about ourselves, or give what was taught to us on others, sometimes rarely understanding why we do it in the first place.
Sit back and think about all the things you may have done or said to others because of your thoughts or state of being? Can you see how you’ve placed things on other people that had nothing to do with them? You expressed feelings, fears, and anxieties onto them without possibly understanding your psyche state. This doesn’t make anyone a bad person; it just means they are wounded individuals. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t make the act justified, but it makes it grounded in the state they were in. It is never right to place another in the same state of bad feelings that you may be in; nonetheless, the state of bad feelings someone is in, that causes harm to another, always stems out of their state of reasoning (being).
It is always your choice to decide to forgive and release yourself from an internal hostile environment so that you may live free from anger, fear, resentment, and bitterness. All these things when left unchecked out of unforgiveness leads to aging quicker, and sickness within the body and mind. People wonder why their body seems to breakdown quicker than others, this happens because the chemicals you release when unforgiveness is harbored is toxic. It takes all the chemical that is typically used for running the body and uses them quicker. It’s like a soaked sponge that is left outside in the hot sun, the sun evaporates all the water that is in the sponge and leaves it shriveled up and dry. In essence, this is what happens to your body when we leave bitterness, anger, resentment, and unforgiveness in the body unchecked.
In the end, who is being more affected by the decision to hold on to unforgiveness, the offender or you? Most of the time, the offender is walking around free because they have released or have no recollection of their acts, while you walk around aging, sick, and closed off to the natural process of life. So, as we go back and look at who forgiveness is for, all the evidence points back to self. Forgiveness is for you so that you may live a life of freedom and health.
If you hold unforgiveness, search yourself and see why you are deciding to hold onto it. What are you gaining from it? How is it adding to the quality of your mind, body, and soul? Ask yourself if it is worth the price you pay. Decide today to release the offense. If you don’t understand internally the battle it places within your life, decide to have assistance with the process so that you can live a better unobstructed quality of life.
Remember…asking for help is never weak, it is the strongest thing you can do for yourself. We all need assistance sorting things out sometimes. Be stronger and seek out help for your healing.